Watching the break down of a relationship between parents can be very tough for a kid.
Many co-parents don’t appreciate that their conflict may have adverse psychological effects on children. Co-parenting is about improving the lives, personal situation, and big changes that affect their future. Rules, living environments, and many other circumstances can change wildly and very quickly.
What are the adverse effects on a child after the parents’ divorce?
There are various adverse effects that a child may face after parents split, and these will vary from case-to-case.
- Anxiety: After the split-up of parents most kids face some element of anxiety issues. Many react by thinking that as their parents are separated and their family has been divided into ‘halves’, then they will also get separated (or split) from the rest of their family. They also get anxiety about not being loved that much by one or both parents. Many will describe their situation as not having a happy family.
- Constant stress: Most parents don’t understand the impact on how responsibilities change and this stress may lead to insecurity.
- Mood swings and irritability: Worryingly, some children become more irritable for a period after their parents’ divorce. Likewise, both parents may also experience irritability and this adds to the stress of the moment.
- Anti-social behavior: The changing circumstances can take up time and result in new and old friendships changing. This can result in a child thinking it’s all ‘too hard’ to go out and make friends. Encourage sports or other interests.
- Troubled relationships: As they may become less confident in their situations, they may start having difficulty bonding with peers and friends.
- Susceptibility to substance abuse: It is a statistical fact that trauma can lead to increased susceptibility to substance abuse.
- Educational delays: Mental stress can reflect in school results as well as an inability to concentrate.
Why is positive communication needed between parents after divorce?
Two people alone can decide on the impact of their actions. They can choose to minimise the impact or to increase it unnecessarily. People that opt to communicate positively about the other party and the situation (this includes discussions with children directly), or just as easily can talk negatively and create more confrontation. This includes any settlement negotiations.
The fact is, if you want to minimise any adverse effect on kids, then before, during and after divorce or separation you need to be in a positive frame-of-mind to effectively raise your kids in a healthy environment. Your kids should never feel the absence of any of their parents or their ‘family unit’. Connections are critical. If you stay in contact and communicate well with your co-parent (keeping your differences aside for the sake of the children), then you can give them the best chance. Don’t forget to seek professional counseling or advice for yourself or your children and speak with your GP for more help.
What are the benefits of positive communications between parents after separation & divorce?
If a parent is communicating well and devoting time to their kids after splitting, then there are many positive short and long term benefits that can be realised.
- A happy parent raises a happy child.
- Double parenting-power.
- Quality time, over quantity time.
- Kids learn from your mistakes.
- Put the focus back on the kids, not on relationship drama.
- Everyone can move on.
Seek professional help…
They may not understand the complexities of life in full just yet, but our children are a critical part of our life and they need both a fathers’ and mothers’ attention, devotion and love. They need the support of everyone around to ensure they are staying in positive spirits as much as possible. If there is any doubt, seek a professional.
For more information or to speak with a Family Lawyer in Mackay, contact us today.